As life passes before our eyes: Observing an ending.

For decades I knew a man in his vigor, in his general toughness and manliness in the true sense of the word. I saw him do what needed to be done to make things right for his family, often succeeding, sometimes failing, but always persisting to do what was right. He was determined to fulfill his responsibilities. He understood duty, consequences, right and wrong, and he lived it out. Life was a very straightforward proposition for this man.

His daily work included a blue collar trade which he loved. He could fix just about anything, cursed occasionally and sometimes lost his temper. But he knew who he was and he stayed the course of life: Raise a family, pay the bills, keep one's word, be faithful to his wife, be a good neighbor, volunteer and know how to have a good time.

This man is now nearing 90. What I have seen up close and personal as he prepares to leave this time and space is someone using every fiber of his being to stay independent, to retain his dignity and to remain a person, but he is slowly losing the fight.

His sense of self-determination has not left him. He still wants to do 'something', yet he is also aware that things are not as they ought to be, and in his lucid moments, he weeps for what can no longer be. He walks down dark hallways of memories searching for something that never existed.

The scientist in me observes the progressive degradation and wonders what is causing the destruction of this human being. The family member in me senses loss and frustration that I am not able to help this man, for he is fighting a battle against an undefeated enemy until a great Day in the future when Death shall be swallowed up in Victory. As a human being, it is obvious that one day I too shall walk this road. It is sobering.

Short of an accident or terrible, chronic disease, we shall all pass this way, perhaps not with dementia, but most surely with a life-ending illness. We cannot see it when we are children. We ignore it in our teens. We are too busy to face it in our 20's and 30's, but when 40 hits we start to 'see' it. In our 50's things change and the horizon becomes clearer. At 60 we see very clearly the truth that this life is limited.

One thing I have become convinced of now that I am experiencing this man's decline: How we treat others during our times of good health has a deep impact on how we will be treated in our old age. It is a cautionary tale. Can we learn from it or will we live as if we were immortal? We are not.